A few years ago before his death,  my Dad lived in a Nursing Hostel.  Not a Nursing Home.  The difference being that 10 Residents live in a house each with their own bedroom and ensuite with a communal lounge, dining room and kitchen.  They lived as a family.

As I saw my Dad enter another stage in his life, I looked back at my life and could see little pockets or parcels if you wish.  Each stage or parcel is different and has its challenges and lessons to learn.  Some of you may have done the same.

I remember my father as a very strong man physically and mentally.  An authoritarian – which I guess in that era many were.  He was always in charge.  You could always depend on him.  He was very protective of his family (sometimes I felt too much) and nothing was too much trouble for him.

This was a man who I would spend many hours with.  I guess I should have been a boy as he taught me what tools were what, to fix a car or make a piece of furniture.  How to make a fishing rod, and also to fish.

Now here was a man of 83 years young who had failing eyesight, couldn’t walk very well and needed a walker to assist him.  Had breathing problems due to a life of smoking heavily.  This was a man who had to rely on me and on others around him for help.

The folk he shared his life with in the hostel had like my Dad been in charge of their own homes, brought up children, gone through hardships and now in the later part of their life had to learn to adapt to different people and a different way of life.  To be dependent on others where once they were the ones that were depended upon.

I became quite friendly with the other folk of Dad’s new family.  I watched how they coped with this new lesson they are learning. 

Some coped very well.  There is a lady there who was 91years young.  She was still active with a lot of drive and liked to help where she could.  There were others who did not cope well with this possibly final lesson.

I looked at the cycles of life from when we are children, then teenagers, young adults, then perhaps with families, grandchildren and then finally accepting this final stage of learning.  Letting go of the control we have always had on life and learning another lesson in these final years.

I have great respect for these folk.  I know that some people get angry with older folk because they are slow at getting going and perhaps can’t hear or see well.  I guess you could call it the impatience of youth.

If we are lucky enough we too will come to this final lesson of “letting go” and having to rely and trust others for our life.  A bit like a return to when we were very young and our Mum and Dad looked after us.

If you have an aging parent, try to be patient.  They are as frustrated with their life as you are perhaps frustrated with them.

Realize that life is all cycles and that we will all get to that stage one day.  Be patient with the elderly, they are going through a rough patch too.  Try to put yourself in their place.  Try to imagine their helplessness where once they were so strong and active like you some years before.

They are souls on the last stage of their journey on this planet.  Congratulate them on the wonderful achievements they have made whilst here.  The lives they lived.  The children they have had.  MOST OF ALL TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM and thank them for the difference they made to your life. 

Also remember that even if they weren’t what you wanted them to be for you, they were doing the best they could with the knowledge they had and the example they had from their upbringing.

LOVE THEM FOR THEIR FRAILTY, JUST AS THEY LOVED YOU IN YOURS.